Shit is getting quite insane, worldwide. I've been having a hard time logging into patreon, might lose my paypal account, gotta close my american bank account most likely, etc. I made it here today though, so I'm not giving up the platform yet. I'm going to do some troubleshooting over the month of July. If I can't figure out a way to preserve my connection here, I will export my content to a personal website and keep it moving! My bandwidth a...
2025-07-01 15:33:35 +0000 UTC
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I am just hurting in so many ways for so many reasons that I have no idea how to navigate the writing process. Every time I get my breath back, something else comes and takes it away. In the last 3 months, I have lost a lot of people and witnessed a lot of atrocities. Most of it was remotely, but a couple of them were local to me here in Cambodia. Suicides are getting out of hand. The demoralization of the global population is happening. ...
2025-05-02 00:08:19 +0000 UTC
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Stay tuned, I shall be posting an entry today, cuz I'm not giving up! fuck, this shit has been insanely hard to navigate but I'm going to fucking move through it or burn up in the atmosphere trying! SEE YOU SOON.
2025-05-01 04:19:38 +0000 UTC
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Once upon a time there was a 20-something girl named Angelique. She was a sparkly, beautiful, mischievous little ray of sunshine. Her mother and I became very close friends as we worked together at my cute little school. Unfortunately, I could sense death all around this girl. I could tell that she had way too much trust for others and wasn't good at taking advice. One day, she went missing for a few days, just screwing around with random...
2025-02-02 23:48:54 +0000 UTC
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hahaha made you look! I will be posting my huge, crazy, incredibly deep update before the weekend is over! <3 It's intense, but I'm sure it will be a fascinating read.
2025-02-01 00:15:26 +0000 UTC
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I'm sitting here at my desk, listening to the Deftones to invoke the power of my 28 year old self. I have experienced truly incomprehensible things in the last three months. My spiritual practice has been tested in new and painful ways I could never dream up in advance. Death has walked beside me, staring into my eyes, while he calmly explains my time is long from coming. The past attempted to rise up and swallow me whole while a simultane...
2024-11-03 01:56:55 +0000 UTC
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Okay, in the last 30 days I have experienced a true upheaval to my life. I don't even have words right now because I'm still processing it all. At first, it completely threw me off my game, but now, i'm coming back to balance. I have to go to the embassy to renew my passport today, and I'm honestly stressed about it. I don't want to deal with anything American, ever. lol. Stay tuned for my actual August recap with full introspection. ...
2024-09-04 23:32:48 +0000 UTC
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I want to apologize for not being able to keep up with the speed of my life in the past two months. It's simply too much for me to handle, but I'm doing my best to keep up. Instead of a narrative style entry today, I want my exclusive readers to see this list of what I am experiencing right now. I will absolutely do my best to post again in the next few days, not only because I value sharing my inner world here, but because I really apprec...
2024-07-31 23:59:17 +0000 UTC
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Lately, I've been contemplating my identity as a vampire. It's been a very long time since I fed on human blood. These days, I use a blend of energetic and physical substitutes to create a relatively stable baseline. I haven't had a Thirsting seizure in many years, but the possibility of one looms in the back of my mind all the time. My acute hearing of high pitched noises hasn't dulled over the years, and here in Cambodia I use it to listen t...
2024-06-01 17:07:20 +0000 UTC
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It has been so hot every single day since right before Khmer New Year. I can barely function. I got a touch of heatstroke in Siem Reap during the celebrations, and then caught a horrible summer cold. That eliminated my ability to cope with these temperatures. It has been sitting at or above 100F (38C) with 80% or more humidity. Wifi is unusually slow, my AC can barely keep my bedroom cool, and I have been hiring cars instead of tuktuks to...
2024-05-02 00:08:34 +0000 UTC
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One of my feet is walking the path of an ascended master and it is difficult for me to fully acknowledge that fact. So, here I am, admitting it to myself and to you, my alpha readers. Typically, when one achieves the mindset required to experience ascended states of consciousness, one loses the mindset required to manage working class states of consciousness. In my circumstance, I deeply believe in practicing both mindsets, a...
2024-03-19 00:04:23 +0000 UTC
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Hey y'all, imma be real. This genocide in Gaza situation got me all kinds of extremely fucked up and I can barely function. I've decided to take comedy seriously, because that statement alone brings more absurdity and laughter into my life. Now that I've done this bit, I'm also doing my first Unscripted Comedy Night this evening, marking my second show this year already, I'm so proud. Godzilla be praised.
2024-02-14 00:06:26 +0000 UTC
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I'm honestly at a loss. I have been through so much shit in my life with family, friends, people I loved, etc, especially around the holidays. December used to always be this extremely energy intensive time for me. I would make the best of it, of course, but it was exhausting, often demoralizing, always triggering, and expensive. This year was so different from all of those struggles that I am only halfway through proce...
2024-01-03 00:04:47 +0000 UTC
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My life is moving incredibly fast in all the best ways. I am going to have to start taking notes so that when I come here to do my review and add some mystical elements, it will all come together! As promised, I wrote, directed, and starred in a cute little sketch called Vampire Versus Reaper! It was absolutely awesome. We did two showings, and the audiences loved it both times! I love to direct, and honestly, I forgot....
2023-12-03 03:16:33 +0000 UTC
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https://www.khmertimeskh.com/501380828/cambodian-literary-prodigy-samithi-succumbs-to-cancer-at-22/
My good friend Sami ditched his inadequate shell on the 22nd of October at 22 years old. Please check out this decent piece written about him in the local newspape...
2023-11-01 14:50:15 +0000 UTC
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This month was WILD as hell. I danced with fire (of course), rode riverboats several times, attended three birthday parties, sang at two live events, hosted my story slam contest, and so much more. Everything keeps moving faster, just when I think I've gotten used to the pace. It's challenging, but it's not stressful. I love every single thing I'm doing.
The moon festival and its lovely mooncakes were an aweso...
2023-10-01 23:41:39 +0000 UTC
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Chinese astrology says that Rabbit Years can move really fast! Holy fuck this year has shot by like a lightning bolt! In fact, every single day is flickering by me so quickly, I can barely hold on! I have so much to do every day, so many goals, plans, and responsibilities! I sincerely thought I would be able to sit down and write an elaborate dissertation on the power of the full moons of august, the relevance of my latest bi...
2023-09-07 23:11:35 +0000 UTC
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Flew right on by! I simply have no words for how busy I am right now. It's amazing. It's fabulous. It's EXHAUSTING. This is the Year of the Rabbit and we are HOPPING. I feel so grateful and excited to be a part of everything I'm working on! So much is developing I don't want to give anything away prematurely.
In lieu of a personal anecdote this month, please enjoy another unedited excerpt from my u...
2023-07-31 23:52:39 +0000 UTC
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The month of June was full of darkness and lack. I was terminated from my position as a teacher after giving 30 days notice that I would not be renewing my contract for the following year. They fired me the next day, which is illegal. They also refused to pay me the remainder of my salary, which is even more illegal. I do not have the testicular fortitude to begin a lawsuit, but I did go ahead and find myself a much bet...
2023-07-01 02:58:17 +0000 UTC
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So much happened in May that I can barely believe it was a single month. I ran sound for a really cool play called, "Wind Up Mice" by Samithi Sok. It was such a fun experience! This marks his second successful play and my second time working crew with him. He sent me a one man show concept he's been kicking around and I asked permission to kick it some myself. To my delight, Sami said ok! That ma...
2023-06-09 01:52:15 +0000 UTC
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Lol I really did. Couldn't shoot my artsy pics last night because I had to sleep on my couch lmao. Give me a couple days to post! I'm really excited to share my latest adventures and a couple of deep insights!
2023-06-01 00:31:40 +0000 UTC
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Mangos and friendship EVERYWHERE. Khmer New Year was, once again, simply the best holiday every invented. Roughly 3 MILLION people came to Siem Reap! It was SO FUN. I acted like I was 22 the whole time, haha! The water gun battles were epic, the food was amazing, the music was lit! I will never get tired of seeing live Khmer rap!
On the opposite end of the emotional spectrum, I have been chipping a...
2023-05-01 06:34:07 +0000 UTC
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The equinox has come upon us and departed. I find the elusive state of perfect balance a divine extravagance, but I find its pursuit to be a daily inevitability. My life continues to become deeper, richer, more vibrant, and more unapologetically unique. Here in Cambodia, it is normal to revere mysterious reptilian deities/archetypes/mythical beings. I am discovering new forms of contentment, satisfaction, and peace. &nb...
2023-04-01 03:50:24 +0000 UTC
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It is difficult to articulate the shifts I have been experiencing by the power of simple peace and safety. I used to scream to heaven, "I CANNOT HEAL FROM PTSD IF I AM BEING CONSTANTLY RETRAUMATIZED!" Now,I have been safe and thriving for just over a year. It is amazing to look back at my former self and realize that I was doing more than the best I could. I was absolutely smashing the odds and flying in the face of imp...
2023-03-04 02:38:57 +0000 UTC
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It has been such a whirlwind month, and it ended quite abruptly! Give me a day or two to catchup, I've got some fascinating stories to tell!
2023-02-28 22:45:55 +0000 UTC
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Quickening can mean so many things. A stirring of your heart. An elevation of your energy levels. A coming to fruition. Becoming solid. Successfully becoming faster. There are rituals to hasten a quickening, to represent their manifestation, and to bid them to happen.
Embrace that which makes you feel more alive. Invite people and experiences into your life that will deepen and widen your perspecti...
2023-01-31 16:07:26 +0000 UTC
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Happy western New Year. It is the first of four New Year celebrations in my world. Next comes Chinese New Year, then Arab New Year, then Khmer New Year! I don't really feel compelled to participate in this one, because I am saving my energy for Chinese New Year and Khmer New Year! I did make this amazing khmer basil olive oil infusion for protection and clarity. It's DELICIOUS.
Instead of becoming retros...
2023-01-01 02:51:43 +0000 UTC
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November was surreal. I explored french wine and artisan vegan cheese. I wandered through parts of the city I haven't seen before. I solidified my friendships with several cool people. The weather has been notably cooler than the rest of the year. If you check out the angle of the sun's light, you'll notice it's winter light. The sun sets at 5:50 instead of 7. Setting clocks back doesn't happen here. &...
2022-11-30 22:54:08 +0000 UTC
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This has been a marvelous celebration of spirits, spookies, sexiness, happiness, love, witchcraft, music, friendship, and delicious treats. At one point I literally did a cord cutting ritual on the dancefloor. My mind is reeling with the power, pleasure, and purity of this wondrous occasion. Truly, Hallow's E'en is the one holiday per year that I am allowed to cavort with the non-mystical folk in my most unfiltered manifestat...
2022-10-31 16:47:40 +0000 UTC
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)O( Behold, the forces of creation and destruction! Feast your eyes upon the velvet textures of amethyst lips, petals, and luxurious ballroom gloves. Imagine yourself in a realm of pure pleasure, surrounded by things that stimulate your most decadent desires. Embrace that which makes you unique as you give yourself permission to feel amazing. Celebrate yourself, revel in the tangibility of your body, frolic in the unending landscap...
2022-10-02 17:35:25 +0000 UTC
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