CRANE: ENTRY 042
LUCENZO: Wake up, Dottore.
CRANE: Mmm.
LUCENZO: It is time.
CRANE: Hngh… time for what.
LUCENZO: Time to operate.
CRANE: (sigh) … Fine.
(Bolton is already prepared. Out cold. Jon washes his hands, has a mask put on)
CRANE: Extraction of the Amygdala, Dr. Jonathan Crane present. Assisted by Dr. Lucenzo Valentino. Patient is Lyle Bolton. Surgery beginning at <TIME&...
2017-11-04 14:00:01 +0000 UTC View Post
TRS - Casefile #0157 (Me and Mr. Jones)
EDWARD: Look, all I’m saying is “What have I got in my pocket” is NOT a Riddle! That’s just a question! By definition alone, he lost the contest.
(IKKY caws)
EDWARD: I know he had three guesses, but that’s still not fair. It’s just a cop out is all. It’s a matter of… oh. Well… this is different. Why would they put a wall here? He asks, fleeing from an asylum....
2017-11-04 13:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post
CRANE: ENTRY 041
CRANE; Hhhngh.
BOLTON: Welcome to the party.
CRANE: What… happened… AUGH…
BOLTON: Wouldn’t move around too much, Doc. They had you on the table for god knows what.
CRANE: (opens shirt) The fuck…
BOLTON: (whistle) Jesus… they did a number on you.
CRANE: (grunts, getting up) What did you do. HEY! The hell did you do?!
LUCENZO: You have no fear, Dottore. ...
2017-11-03 22:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
TRS - Casefile #0156
EDWARD: Anonymous asks: If you, Scarecrow, Joker, and Two-Face were all locked in a room with no weapons, and no observed ventilation system, what would you do?
Well, aren’t you a fan of the Oxford comma - kudos. But no ventilation? I imagine we would find a way out or die, choking on each other’s rancid carbon dioxide. Ugh - what a revolting thought. Now what kind of questio...
2017-11-03 21:00:01 +0000 UTC View Post
CRANE: ENTRY 040
(music playing in CRANE’s truck)
CRANE: What are you doin’ here, Jon? Why d’you gotta keep pokin’ your nose in where it don’t belong? Puttin’ your neck out for what? Some asshole who wouldn’t piss on ya if you were on fire. (sigh) Since when did you start doin’ the right thing? No. This ain’t about right or wrong. You don’t get to set foot in my town and start layin’ down the law. Yo...
2017-11-03 20:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post
CLASSIFIED 09: BODYCAM
(pigs grunting)
BULLOCK: Alright, you two – simple sweep, nothin’ fancy. Keep your eyes out for anything. We’re not gonna get another warrant for this any time soon.
MORENO: Yes sir.
RIEGER: You got it.
BULLOCK: Alright. Ring it. (Doorbell sounds)
RIEGER: This place gives me the creeps.
BULLOCK: Yeah, no shit.
(door opens) LUCENZO: Si?
BULL...
2017-11-03 19:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post
TRS - Casefile #0155
EDWARD: Ogrebanani said: Riddler, good day to you. Only one question for you at the moment: Why turn your vast intellect toward foiling The Batman when there must certainly be larger minds against which to test your mettle?
Believe it or not, this is a question I have often asked myself. In the long ago, at the beginning of my career, I was the only person in the univer...
2017-11-03 18:00:01 +0000 UTC View Post
CRANE: ENTRY 039
LUCENZO: Welcome, Dottore, to my home.
CRANE: It’s lovely. Very reminiscent of the Old Country.
LUCENZO: Si, gratzi.
CRANE: I brought wine – I assumed red would be fitting.
LUCENZO: Again, gratzi. Please, sit. *claps hands* Braciole di maiale.
CRANE: It looks terrific. Thank you.
LUCENZO: Hmm.
CRANE: Something wrong?
LUCENZO: I notice… I notice you do not ma...
2017-11-03 17:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post
TRS - Casefile #0154
EDWARD: First off, for those of you obsessed with the well-being of Ichabod, she is fine. More than fine. Living in the lap of luxury, were luxury my name. And, since this is TheRiddlerSpeaks and not Jonathan'sBirdSpeaks, I am pleased to inform you that she is currently asleep and thus unable to entertain the masses, leaving me, your eponymous hero, here to enliven and enlighten as usual. (Ikky squawks...
2017-11-03 16:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
ENTRY: CRANE - 038
CRANE: I’m not going in blind. I need to know what I’m up against before I put myself in a vulnerable position. Valentino Farm… I really did not want to set foot here. I’m not a superstitious man, but this place is… evil. I am aware of how ridiculous that sounds, but I don’t know how else to say it, you can… feel death here. Can’t exactly walk in through the front door. Hmmm…
(pulls...
TRS - Casefile #0153
EDWARD: Anonymous asks: Why choose to be evil? And a-bat-with-justice asks: Why choose to be a villain?
Oh, dear. This sounds like one of those ‘philosophical’ topics, today. Make yourself comfortable, won’t you? Riddler is about to exposit. Let’s begin with the idea of 'evil’. One could assume that evil implies the constant need, or desire, to inflict harm or misadvent...
2017-11-03 14:00:01 +0000 UTC View Post
CRANE: ENTRY 037
CRANE: Excuse me, excuse me. Oh for Chrissake, YOU.
HENCHMAN: What?
CRANE: Joker. Where is he?
HENCHMAN: Who's askin'?
CRANE: Your worst nightmare.
HENCHMAN: (laughs) Push off, toothpick.
CRANE: (laughs, then grabs him)
HENCHMAN: Hey!
CRANE: Listen here, and listen good. I don't have time for pleasantries so I'll be frank. Tell me where the Joker is, or I will lit...
2017-11-03 13:00:01 +0000 UTC View Post
TRS - Casefile #0152
EDWARD: Since Jonathan is indisposed and I am honour-bound to take care of dear little Ikky, I shall conduct my affairs from his office. How’s my favourite sentient being? (Ikky squawks) Yes, I can see you’re delighted to see me. Let’s get you out of that awful cage. (flapping wings) I’ll be your lord and master while that bad straw man is away. He left because he doesn’t love you, darli...
2017-11-02 22:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post
CLASSIFIED 08: BODYCAM
BULLOCK: You two – stay by the door. I want a badge at every entrance, you hear me? You fuck this up and Gordon won’t have the chance to fire you.
ARKHAM: Detective Bullock, what is the meaning of this?
BULLOCK: Where’s Crane’s office?
ARKHAM: Is this about Bolton? (sigh) Level 1; D Wing. End of the hall.
BULLOCK: Rieger. Lewis. Let’s go.
ARKHAM: George! Get m...
2017-11-02 21:00:01 +0000 UTC View Post
CRANE: ENTRY 036
CRANE: There have been many messages in regard to my well-being, as of late. While I’m flattered y’all care so much, I’m taking all necessary steps to ensure my safety. As I’ve said before, a lack of fear does not denote a lack of caution. I mean, I don’t fear death – but it would be terribly inconvenient. I’ve cancelled all appointments this week, so as to have some time with Valentino’s...
2017-11-02 20:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post
CLASSIFIED 07: BODYCAM
(static)
COP: Shouldn’t he be shackled or somethin’?
OLDER COP: This your first transfer?
COP: Yeah.
OLDER COP: Well, Dent don’t need shackles; he ain’t runnin’. Not without – this. We don’t shackle Dent, we don’t shackle Tetch, we don’t shackle Nygma –
COP: No?
OLDER COP: He just picks ‘em; makes us cuff him again.
COP: What abou...
2017-11-02 19:00:01 +0000 UTC View Post
TRS - Casefile #0151
EDWARD: Anonymous asks: Hi Riddler! I was wondering if you could give us your point of view on what would happen if someone was to mix Doctor Crane’s Fear Gas with the Joker’s Laugh Gas. It’s been a topic at work a lot as of late. And by point of view I mean, the effects. Not that it would be bad. That’s an obvious one. Or do you think the gasses would negate each other?
...
2017-11-02 18:00:01 +0000 UTC View Post
CRANE: ENTRY 035
CRANE: There have been several questions regarding the effects of Fear Toxin on those in the Autism Spectrum. Organisations such as Autism Speaks would have one believe that Autism is a… black and white disorder, with symptoms that are essentially universal across the spectrum; of course they also make Autism sound like a disease that is to be feared and shamed, but my feelings on this organization will be th...
2017-11-02 17:00:01 +0000 UTC View Post
TRS - Casefile #0150b (Latest Editions)
OSWALD: Disastrous! Bloody disastrous!
EDWARD: Am I interrupting anything?
OSWALD: Edward, my boy! Come in, come in. (newspapers rustling) I trust you’ve read the latest editions?
EDWARD: Just the crosswords. Harvey has yet to relinquish the rest.
OSWALD: Well. Our mutual friend President Luthor has done it once again.
EDWARD: Oh, Lord. What’s...
2017-11-02 16:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post
TRS - Casefile #0150
EDWARD: Anonymous asks: Hello, dear Riddler, I recently suffered the loss of a loved one and I’m currently trying to cope. Was there ever a point in your life where you experienced grief? If so, how did you handle it?
Hm. I feel inadequately equipped to answer this question, a statement I have never relished the opportunity to make. Possibly, I could bluff this out and...
2017-11-02 15:00:01 +0000 UTC View Post
CRANE: ENTRY 034
(CRANE walks down the hallway to his office; jingle of keys, unlocks the door)
CRANE: I told you you’re not supposed to be here anymore.
LUCENZO: …
CRANE: Lucenzo, you need to leave.
LUCENZO: I adore the smell of books, dottore. The old paper, the leather covers… it’s the smell of enlightenment. The smell of, how to say… conoscenza.
CRANE: I’ve heard enough. I’m calli...
2017-11-02 14:00:01 +0000 UTC View Post
TRS - Casefile #0149
EDWARD: Bytheway99-blog asks: Kristen Kringle? No thank you, I just ate. <sigh> While I’m here, using up my precious recreation time on these quality questions, I will address a topic that continues to crop up in recent missives regarding my current recording environment.
I’m not sure how many crows you’re all personally acquainted with, but there is certainly not only Ichabod here in...
2017-11-02 13:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post
CRANE: ENTRY 033
CRANE: Tell me about Anya.
LUCENZO: Anya, my love.
CRANE: Were you lovers?
LUCENZO: Not while she was in school, no. We knew it would be… frowned upon. We were so different in age.
CRANE: Admirable.
LUCENZO: Is it?
CRANE: Many lack the restraint.
LUCENZO: You saw that with <convinzione>. I wonder if there is a story there?
CRANE: My passions laid els...
2017-11-01 22:00:01 +0000 UTC View Post
TRS - Casefile #0148
EDWARD: E-nygmatic asks: Hello Riddler! This is a bit of a random question, I must admit, but I was wondering if you have heard of Escape Rooms? If so, what are your thoughts on them? They seem like something you would either be in full support of or strongly opposed to.
I am wholly in support of escape rooms, though with a caveat. The concept itself is sound, but the execu...
2017-11-01 21:00:01 +0000 UTC View Post
CRANE: ENTRY 032B
(hurried footsteps)
CRANE: Goddammit. Why am I always runnin’ late? Shit – Grace! Hold all my calls, would ya?
(jingling of keys)
CRANE: Gotta get in the goddamn office – (opens the door) Uh – Lucenzo. Now how did you get in here?
LUCENZO: Corvus brachyrhynchos. She is beautiful, dottore. What did you say her name was?
CRANE: I didn’t. It’s Ichabod.
LUCENZO...
2017-11-01 20:00:01 +0000 UTC View Post
TRS - Casefile #0147
EDWARD: Green-genius-purple-puzzler asks: If you had the opportunity to permanently alter one aspect of your physical appearance, what would you change, if anything?
Hm. Are you implying that I am in some way - inadequate? Less than perfect, perhaps? Lacking in some tiny yet significant way? My colossal ego and I are insulted. Here I suppose I could segue into an int...
2017-11-01 19:00:01 +0000 UTC View Post
STRANGE ENTRY: 0932 – Jonathan U. Crane
STRANGE: These are the medical journals of Dr. Hugo Strange. The date is September 7th, 1995.
Patient interview with Mr. Jonathan Crane. There’s no smoking allo- hm, alright.
Let’s begin, shall we?
CRANE: Strange… That can’t be your real name.
STRANGE: The family name is Schturang, but it is less than palatable to the American tongue. But we are not here ...
2017-11-01 18:00:00 +0000 UTC View Post
TRS - Casefile #0146b (Needlessly Ambiguous)
EDWARD: Hmm… (inhales) Oh. (wince) Does no one just say “come with me” any more? (wince) Oh. Ow. Oh. My head feels like there’s Frenchman living in it.
OSWALD: Ah… Our Mr. Nygma is finally awake.
EDWARD: Who is that? How long have I been out?
OSWALD: All will be made clear, soon enough. Though you may want to consider a visit to the doctor’s, after...
2017-11-01 17:00:00 +0000 UTC View Post
CLASSIFIED 006: MAYORAL DEBATE
(GCN music)
RYDER: This is a GCN Special Report; I’m Jack Ryder. The votes have been tallied and the results are in: Oswald Cobblepot has won the Gotham City electoral race, and will be the next Mayor of Gotham City. This has surprised many critics of Cobblepot, especially given the events of last week’s debate, in which Mr. Cobblepot physically assaulted his opponent, current Mayor Eldo...
2017-11-01 16:00:01 +0000 UTC View Post
TRS - Casefile #0146
EDWARD: Anonymous asks: Dear Riddler, can we hear Query and/or Echo say something? Thanks, Jo. DefinitelyNotClayFace asks: Mr. Nygma, are we ever going to hear from your lovely associates Echo and Query on this blog? Also, Anonymous asks: Why always henchgirls and never henchmen?
For those who don’t know, allow me to give you some background on my dynamic duo. Query works a...
2017-11-01 15:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post