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Chapter 158: You Don’t Have These?

Now, how to singlehandedly steal a slime princess I know nothing about, in an area I know nothing about, without the people who live here getting suspicious of the strangers in the area?

Calvin opened up a leather bound case of vials, with each of his mutations clearly labeled on the glasses, running his fingers over it to remind himself of his options in a visual way and possibly spark some idea.

Hmmm… Mesmeri...

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Chapter 157: Peer Pressure

“Welcome, great heroes!” The matriarch of the Ooze Weaver tribe said, making the odd flag-waving motion as they approached.

Norlocks didn’t have their own language. They were asocial creatures and generally not intelligent enough to learn speech until they reached a size impossible by normal standards. The language must have come from the Ooze weavers, and Calvin was pleased to see himself proved correct. Eating the norlock’s ...

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Chapter 156: Fishing By The Lake

***Ykuingi, Daughter of the Chief***

Ykuingi led the way through the canopy, leaving a trail of Binding behind her, making a safe trail for the for the rest of the troop to follow, her hearts pounding as she moved. How could she not be nervous?

The chief had told them to observe the humans in the case they balked in the face of Yninquiak. If they did, she would be required to fulfill her duty to the tribe.

The crue...

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Chapter 155: The Bigger they Are…

***Ykuingi, Daughter of the Chief***

The creatures were hideous: Skin dry as a desert, strange mosslike clumps growing on their crests. They had thick stumpy limbs, and they only used two of them, so they tottered around in an extremely ungainly manner as they stepped off their raft.

They looked somewhat like a Guar, in number of limbs and ungainliness.

“Look at this guy,” Nynguik said, nudging Ykuingi “Every step h...

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Chapter 154: Welcome Snot

Learner’s notes: day 256: on grieving.

Death is what happens to these humans when a cascade failure in their specialized units leads to total unit shutdown. Some of these ‘organs’ are so delicate that a nick the size of the tip of my pinky can lead to cascade organ failure.

Truly poor design, but I already knew this.

Instead, what I have studied today is the social behavior of how humans...

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Chapter 153: Swept Away

And lo, one day it started raining, unrelenting for four months. We suffered every manner of rain there is. Stinging rain, Heavy, brooding rain, Rain that swept in sideways, and sometimes rain that seemed to rise from below. Forsooth, it even rained at night.

- Translated to Gadveran from an ancient fable

Five days upriver, the expedition ran into its first major threat. It wasn’t roaming monsters, or geno...

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Chapter 152: A day in the life of Goob

***Goob***

The life of a lab assistant is rough, Goob thought, yawning as he walked back to his tent after a long day of organizing research data from the knick-knacks. While the knick knacks were smart and coordinated, they often missed variables that were obvious to a living, breathing human being. For example one of the inks was accompanied by uncontrollable weeping, which Goob struck off the list of possibilities.

...

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Chapter 151: Inked

While Calvin’s adoptive mother was busily scarring people for life, Calvin got busy making the ink, recalling the briefing on Genosian Tattoo rituals.

“In a Genosian bonding ritual,” Ella had said, “The man chooses the ink and the pattern. The woman chooses the size and location. During the tattooing, the man must remain still and suffer through wherever his prospective mate chooses to apply it.”

“So you could put it o...

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Chapter 150: You wouldn't hit a baby, would you?

Calvin’s army of humans and Cobalts sat in a swath of land cleared by the knick-knacks as they constructed the dock and the barges. Calvin himself was eating breakfast on a tree stump and watching Karen’s first lesson as he considered his Genosian breeding tattoo. Turned out Ella had bought tattooing needles from Mujenan, just in case she should she ever have the need.

Calvin rolled his eyes at the thought and centered his atten...

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Chapter 149 Jungle Love

It’s driving me mad, it’s making me crazy! Elliot caterwauled in the back of Calvin’s head as they trudged through the dense forest, smacking mosquitos off every couple seconds.

How do you know so many songs? Calvin thought as he killed yet another biting insect.

Oh, they don’t have a crystalization of all human knowledge...

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Chapter 148: The Reception

Freeform mode is dangerous. One day Goob was testing it while we were still working out the kinks, and his concentration slipped for just a second, creating a horrific monster that was half attractive yandere next door, half grilled cheese sandwich.

The girlfriend/sandwich monster was born.

Now it seeks to finish what it started, suffocating Goob in an avalanche of scalding hot cheese and kisses. Unfort...

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Chapter 147: The Birthday Presents

Learner’s notes, day 221: Birthday parties.

I’ve come to learn of something called peacocking from Kala, whereby a male flaunts his wealth or style in order to attract a female. She said that it’s practically expected at her birthday parties, which make them tremendously dull for her.

When asked what a Peacock was, Kala didn’t know. Strange that the etymology of so many words in modern society are s...

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Chapter late

aunt in law died this morning. had to spend time with wife and family.(unrelated to the pandemic) sorry I missed last night and today isn’t looking great either. I took the suggestions for altering the timeline and edited the time skip to seven months.

thats been fixed, plus a paragraph or two added and a character sheet at the end of the last chapter.

i got 1280 words done before I got the news and had to head out. Will get back ...

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Chapter 146: Birthday Party

Extensive training has increased your attributes!

+12 Endurance

+12 Strength

+12 Kinesthetics.

Old Salt has reached level 14! 70% Correction

Drafting has reached level 17!

Chained Spirit has reached level 24!

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Chapter 145: Zoomed out

***Calvin***

“So you’re saying we shouldn’t kill the monster?” Calvin asked.

Kala sighed. “Like I told Grant before, her experiences are currently shaping her personality, so be nice.”

“It’s a she?” Calvin asked.

Kala squinted and peered over at the doppleganger poking the meat slurry.

“…It’s still up in the air, but she’s leaning that direction, yes. She thinks women ultimately wield ...

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Chapter 144: The Blender Spell

“I’m going to get some wasps to fly it out of the city,” Calvin said, raising his arms. Before he could cast Calvinian Summoning, Grant’s hand grasped his shoulder.

“The damn thing has an aura that seems designed to ruin your day, kid.”

“Explain,” Calvin said, eyeing the monster barreling down the streets as terrified civilians dove out of the way. As it came closer, Calvin’s eyes were able to make it out. It looked...

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Chapter 143: Instant Irony

Learner’s Notes: End of day 15.

Irony is the word I was looking for. Curse irony.

After being on my own for a few minutes I realized that I’ve never actually seen a hooter in public without the strange cloth they wear to supplement their weak skin. I realized this after quite a bit of staring while we carried the insensate Kala back to the palace. Responses were…varied.

I was also gent...

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Chapter 142: Doran’s Havok

Learner’s notes: Day 15

On combat:

The most common way for hooter to permanently deactivate, or ‘kill’ each other, it to damage the structural integrity of their physical forms beyond the individual’s tolerance. The three most common ways of doing so include poking holes with sharp objects, cutting with bladed objects, or crushing with blunt objects.

All of these techniques seem to be...

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Cover + Back to work tomorrow!

Here's the cover of Calvin getting chased by Karen. It's not gonna be great for everyone, but I think it's alright.

I decided to let the artist leave the boobs horrifyingly big because when the entire thing is thumbnail size, you gots to be able to pick out the boobs.

plus boobs.


Aanyway, I'm on schedule to get back to work tomorrow. I'm thinking the next segment of the story is going to take place in the dee...

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Chapter 141: Coward Bad

Learner’s notes: day 15

cow·ard

/?kou(?)rd/

noun

noun: coward; plural noun: cowards. A person who lacks the courage to do or endure dangerous or unpleasant things.

Example: Ryan, who left his caste-mandated superior yet physically weaker, lumpy hooter behind is a coward. And an asshole.

…But I already knew that.

I’ve heard ho...

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Chapter 140: Let’s Put Our Evil Heads Together

Shadowboxing 100% repaired. Please refrain from imagining trans-dimensional or existential attacks while using this Ability. Doing so may cause side effects including, but not limited to, shortness of breath, sneezing, itching, anxiety, nausea, Gran-mal seisures, stroke, aneurism, detonation.

Any further abuse will be reported to System Admin 562

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Chapter 139: Test Subject

Learner’s Notes: Day 9

Hooters use something called money to exchange for goods and services. I find this odd as it has no inherent value. Sure, copper and silver could be melted down into tools, but gold is simply useless. Somehow everyone has surrendered to the same delusion that the shiny substance has value, and goods and services continue to change hands over and over again in front of my eyes for nothing more t...

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April Vacation plans.

A lot of people have told me to take a break if I need one, and I think that's probably a pretty good idea.

So here's the plan.


The story is beginning to mature and change, and it's kind of going into more of a kingdom-building direction. I don't know how to write those, exactly, and I also don't have a solid grasp of plot going forward.

So I'm going to take the first seven days of April off. Up until that point, ...

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Chapter 138: A Brand New Life

Magenta sprinted through the jungle, digitigrade legs outrunning the underground fires as goopy film sloughed off of her body. She was losing bits and pieces of unhardened flesh that should have become her armor. Unfinished.

She was unfinished, half-formed, all she knew was her name, her mission, and basic information harvested from thousands of Gadverans. Everything the Polyp knew about the Vessel had been given to her, ...

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Chapter 137: Magenta

Learner’s Notes Day 8:

I am unable to gather as much information about the System as I wish due to obvious issues with communication, so I instead improved my hearing and language processing centers through trial and error.

By listening to every hooter conversing within about a hundred body-lengths, I have been able to pick out more tidbits about the System here and there, mostly from flabby hooters to...

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Wrestling with caffeine and burnout

So my health was starting to suffer as a result of drinking monsters and coffee, and I decided to cut it out.


the Problem is concentrating on writing has become much more difficult With caffeine withdrawal. I was only able to get about half of my usual amount done today: 1300 words.

the other problem is burnout adjacent. I’m just not sure where I want to take the next arc, and that’s causing some of the slowdown. That ...

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Chapter 136: Dangerous Hugs

“Why summon me and not your new zealot?” Nadia asked with a scowl, folding her arms over her chest.

“You’ve got smaller fingers, now get over here.” Calvin said, holding up the team of thumb-sized knick-knacks on the palm of his hand. They looked like little spelunkers with lanterns on their heads, getting ready to plumb the depths of an unexplored cave. They even had little coils of rope over their shoulders.

Unfor...

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Chapter 135: That’s a lot of blood

Turned out a refraction Spinner couldn’t see. How could they with a constantly diffracting surface in front of them? And no eyes.

The sudden lack of senses brought Calvin’s swarm to a grinding halt while he tried to interface with the alien creature’s senses.

Thank the gods he’d had a Tarak skin for a while now, because that was the closest analogue he was able to make, and it helped him quickly acquaint himself with wha...

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Chapter 134: Harpooned

Jinnei leaned against the palace walls, the last line of defense against the encroaching horror that was slowly consuming the city of Mujenan. Her belly ached from the reduced rations as she waited for the Alpha strike.

Surely after weeks of fire and fury, the monsters wouldn’t simply decide to starve the last of them out…and yet everything had been quiet for the last seven days while she and the last remnants of Gadvera held on...

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Chapter 133: That Flesh

Learner’s notes: Day 7 Cont.

Ryan took us to something called a ‘library’ today. When I spotted the hooter scribbles on the flat sheets of pressed pulp, I was somewhat intrigued, but when I saw the hooter put it back, I realized the entire wooden construction was supporting three hundred and forty-two of these sheet binders full of hoots.

A strange sensation went down the center of my back, where the...

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