where I've been, what's been going on, and what I'm going to do (( important to read! ))

Hey

I know I've been gone a while and both ASMRs and regular RPs have come to a grinding halt. I'm sorry for that. I really am. 

If you didn't see on Twitter some major medical emergencies happened in my family in the last couple of months. First a little while ago my beloved Nona (grandmother) got a bad infection that started attacking her organs and put her in the hospital full time when the organs began failing. She's been there since. She has good days and bad but the last couple weeks the bad have been more than good. When not at school or work I visit her daily and stay as long as I can to keep her company and cheer her up. Yes it is summer but I'm still in school because my college for my program does a quarter system not semesters so the breaks are shorter but it means I graduate sooner. I also have been picking up as many shifts at work as possible because I'm trying to save to move out of my parents house finally and live on my own or with a roommate.  But with Nona so sick it has had a major impact on my mood. And between visiting her, keeping up with school, and work shifts I just don't have time for much else currently. And it's hard to be creative when there's so much going on that has me feeling pretty down.

To add to the family medical drama recently I found out my mom has a serious form of cancer. She's known about it for months but kept it from everyone and went to treatments in secret because she didn't want to stress and worry everyone. Right now she's stable but even at 19 I know cancer can be unpredictable. And that worries me. I'm already going to likely lose my Nona soon unless God blesses us with a miracle and Jesus doesn't call her home yet. The thought I could also lose my mom too so soon hurts like none other. 

June is also a hard month for my family in general. Years ago when I was little we lost my oldest brother around this time. While I don't remember him much aside from what I see in pictures and home videos it really hits my parents and older sister a great deal. Usually around this time my parents take about a week to go on a trip to a place he liked to relax and reflect but with mom's condition they're not sure they're going to. The room the computer I use is in actually used to be his bedroom. When I was a kid they kept it as his but after a while the reminders of him got to be too much so they converted it into a rec room. But his baseball trophies and favorite posters and things still decorate it. He was in high school when he passed. 

With everything going on I just haven't had it in me to try to make content or keep up with RPs. I'm still dealing with on and off depression triggered by a bad breakup a few months ago as well. I've been so down I've even haven't been hanging out or going to the club with my friends like I normally would. Surprisingly I've been spending more time with my younger brother as I know he's hurting too but likes to keep things bottled up. He's been showing me some video games that I actually kind of like. Which if you've known my relationship with him lately the fact we're hanging out so much would seem like something from an alternate universe. 

And of course with all the stuff in my life right now sex and sex related things have been last on my mind. I can't remember the last time I recently dipped into my toybox to play for example. And even though my dad finally set up our pool for summer I've been in it maybe once and it was with friends to hang out. This also plays a part in my ability to make kinky aquaphile content and RPs. 

To the people I still owe custom ASMRs to, I'm sorry. I don't know when I will be able to finish and deliver them. If you can keep being patient with me it would mean a lot right now. As for content made for this page, again I don't know when I will be able to get to it same for just making ASMRs in general. If I had been RPing with you I would like to continue our stories in the future but right now my heart just can't be in it. I'm sorry. I really am. 

As for the future when I will be able to make and post content again or RP is unknown. I am still waiting on a couple art pieces I bought from people that I will post here when I get them. The one I used in this post is by a Twitter artist named Kagi. Maybe later this summer depending on how things go with my family as well as school and work I'll have my drive again and be able to get back to it. We will see. To the other creators who have been talking to me and mentoring me I thank you from the bottom of my heart and appreciate you. You helped show me I have a talent I didn't know I possessed. One I would like to pursue honing again in the future. And to everyone who has been supporting me I thank you too. Your kind words and enjoyment of my work has brought me a lot of happiness even in times like this. So I really do hope I can get back to creating and soon. We will just have to see.

If you want to find other aquaphile audio content I know KittiMinxASMR has made some though she doesn't do bad ends. I learned her partner is one of us into underwater play so she's sometimes made things to cater to him. You can look her up on YouTube and if I remember right she has stuff on the adult Hub as well. She really helped me in the beginning by promoting me and giving me technical advice. So it only feels right I give her a shout out in return. Please consider giving her stuff a shot! 

Again thank you all for your support. It really means a lot. More than you might think. I still probably won't be active much on Twitter and Discord due to how tired and busy I am but if you need to get in touch my email is aquaphilesiren@outlook.com and I try to check it once a day. Hope you're doing well and I sincerely look forward to being part of this community again. Take care!

- Siren Kasumi