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ByronMulvogue
ByronMulvogue

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New Idea Percolatingโ€”Dungeon In Space

So, a few of you voted for this, and I figured I'd throw a little keyboard time at it. This will be entirely 1st person, with a little epistolary (from the protagonist's nebulous future) at the start of each chapter.

Not exactly looking for editing on this so much as thoughts.

New Idea Percolatingโ€”Dungeon In Space

Comments

Yeah, it definitely needs a good rewrite, and focus on fleshing their world (the derelict ship) and their personality (optimistic and curious) a bit more.

Damaged

This is nice! The setting seems potent, and the mystery is interesting. I'm left with one odd feeling, though: a bit ungrounded. This introduces our main character, and our setting, and I feel like I only have 1/2 of a grip on each. I'm a bit detached, without a point of reference. As if without the character, it's hard to see the world, and without the world, it's hard to define the character. I can feel the edges of something quite fun, though, and so I'm also pretty excited/interested to see where you take this.

David Ross


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